Feminist. A word that often induces expressions as horrified as if I’d said the f-word itself. ‘Feminism is stupid’, ‘It’s soo out of date’ are some comments I’ve received. While you may have expected these comments to have come from pimply boys who can often be confused with a testosterone filled pig due to their ability to eloquently grunt their way through a sentence, they were in fact from teenage girls. Comments such as these have worried me most when flippantly thrown from the mouths of girls at single-sex schools, surely a place where feminism and ‘girl power’ should be strong?
Given that in the West women are very lucky as they have a guaranteed education and the right to vote, it’s lamentable that this is all taken for granted. But like stop one sec I’m #totesconfuzled, what’s the problem then you mega noob, are you cray? However, I’m not ‘cray’ as there are many feminist-related issues which rear their ugly blackheads onto the face of a teenage girl’s world. A prime example is body image. Nowadays, everywhere you go, photo shopped images of celebrities are shoved in your face accompanied by slogans such as ‘How to get the perfect body’. These billboards and magazines are so abundant in the life of a teenage girl that they begin to take society’s view of women as gospel and crumple under the pressure to be certain size. I have seen girls, who are already slim, go to extremes to lose weight. Girls buy into all sorts of fad diets and spend their maths revision calorie counting. Feminism has helped me realise that there is no ‘perfect’ body as each woman is an individual whose worth is in her mind not her dress size.
Apparently, body hair is the devil. Girls will often engage in discussions as serious and detailed as a G 20 conference as to how to achieve the fashionable ‘hairless cat-esque minge’. However, although some don’t go to such an extreme, the constant hacking at body hair has become an order from society as strict as The 10th Commandments. ‘Though shall have armpits like Harry Hill’s head 24/7’. Although it can be very difficult to resist juvenile boys’ remarks of ‘Mate, she had the whole of the Amazon down there!’ Feminism can be an empowering influence, and made me realise my body belongs wholly to me and I should not have to change it to meet the desires of a man. Feminism has given me a choice to decide whether I want to have legs as smooth as a baby’s bottom or as hairy as Yeti’s and that neither of these choices makes me a lesser woman. Feminism has given me the confidence to question society and realise that my money is better spent on chocolate than numerous pink-branded Venus razors that promise legs like J-Lo’s. I’m sure teenage girls would welcome this; after all, you can hardly settle down in front of the TV with a nice tub of Veet can you?
Sex. I have heard girls talk with grave sincerity about how to master the art of performing fellatio, down to every last lick. They seem to have studied sexperts guides on ‘giving the perfect blowjob’ as if they were doing a doctorate in the subject What about something for the ladies? I’m sure if the subject of female masturbation was expressed it would be as if someone had let loose an avalanche of tarantulas the subsequent squealing would be so loud.
It’s hardly revolutionary to say that women can be just as horny as men yet the patriarchy dominates over pure common sense. Women can never get it right as if you don’t want grant the boy whatever sexual favour is being forced down your throat (pun intended) you’re a ‘frigid nun’ and if you do, ‘WHORE’ is emblazoned across you in large accusatory letters. Yet boys and men are seen as ‘players’ and ‘studs’. This alone should persuade teenage girls to become feminists as this simply isn’t fair. Many teenagers are scared off by the feminist stereotype of ‘angry man hating lesbians’ which is utter nonsense as feminism is simply about equality. Surely this isn’t scary but just sensible?
I realise that with both my limited brain and word count I can hardly be the new ‘Goddess Greer’, but surely the necessity to discuss the same points over and over again emphasises just how relevant feminism still is? Because of feminism I now understand that sexist jokes cannot just be passed off as ‘Lads’ banter’ and attitudes akin to those shown in the Steubenville rape case should be challenged. Being a feminist simply means you’re an independent, thinking woman who ultimately believes in equality between the sexes rather than being the servile possession of a male, phallocentric chauvinist pig. If you’re not the latter, then sorry girls but you’re a feminist. After all, why not?
And here is the outfit I often wear when I’m crushing the evil patriarchy to replace it with a dominant female race who sacrifice men’s testicles to the goddess Athena, and that’s just my temp job. Of course being a feminist I believe makeup is the misogynist spawn and to let it even so much as touch my face would mean I was giving in to men and conforming to their beauty ideals making me a false feminist who deceives her fellow Amazonian sisters. Being a feminist also means I must eschew any tops or trousers with shape and ensure that I am constantly promoting the feminist ideal of a society where men given as much care as our body hair which must be grown wild and free or else you cannot be part of The Sisterhood. To top the look off I added an angry expression to provide that man-hating rage against the patriarchy expression that is a must-have for every feminist.
N.B. In case you hadn’t realised the previous paragraph along with the photo below is a joke and a parody of the stereotype society has of feminists and the opposite of what I believe feminism to be. While I understand that some feminists may be more strident than others and choose to express their feminism in different ways e.g. clothes, haircuts or whether or not they choose to shave their body hair (and whatever you do I’m totally cool with), but the point is that apart from believing men and women are equal and sexism is awful there are no other ‘rules’ to feminism. Whether or not feminism is a single doctrine is a matter to be disputed in another time, another place and probably another world when I die and come back as brainy as Socrates.
My idea to do a parody was inspired by this hilarious Feminist Makeup Tutorial on Youtube, pure genius.
The Proper Outfit- just to show you that you can be a feminist and still dress like femininely.
Hat- borrowed from the mater
Dress- Mum’s old